hearts desire

discovery!
self-love, disguised as risk.
grace; your human, learn to live.
capture, surf, and feel inclined,
to whisper courage towards the pines.
waves crash in, crash out,
deep blue to violet.
adventure made haste with
borrowed time from space.
move swiftly sweet serenade,
as the wind picks up your soul,
learn the tongue of kindness,
grace; your human, learn to live.

GENERATION-Y, I'M SPEAKING TO YOU!

Generation-Y

What I have come to learn these last six weeks is that self love trumps everything.
After much reflection and therapy, I have come to understand that at the end of the day, we are all the same thing: human. We all FEEL! I have come to develop such an innate sense of compassion for all beings lately. I never really realized how sensitive the brain is. What we all place in our individual pandora boxes, to keep secure and hidden from the rest of the world.  We find it so easy to judge other people; other human beings. We scrutinize, humiliate and taunt each other for personal gain and satisfaction. When did we lose our sense of grace, patience and humility?
What I am trying to say is, why has it become so taboo to openly be comfortable in your own skin. To be okay with being YOU! There is no one quite like you! How can you expect other people to accept you, if you are not willing to accept yourself?
I think of it this way: If I have the capacity to change in an hour, week, month, year, who am I to say you don't have the same ability?


You could die tomorrow. Do you want to die trying to be someone else? Or do you want to die knowing you lived YOUR LIFE the way YOU intended?

 I will leave you with this question.

When did we as a race, lose our ability to love and see light in all things and in each other? 

The Countdown to Midnight

A New Year. Smells like second chances. Take one on yourself.

2013 has come and gone so incredibly fast, it was almost too hard let go.

I've been reflecting on this past year, on the person I want to become and just how to get there. On the successes, and failures. The love and the losses. The adventures made and moments savored. When I really think about it, it all comes down to love. What you put out, you receive right back..

This year I have finally understood this. I have learned after many life lessons, you are your words and thoughts. If you think, but do not do, you will achieve nothing. If you put in the action and just have a little faith, you'll succeed in every way.

Just like your outfit for the day, you choose your attitude. Blame is just a tool. And so is forgiveness. Once you walk out that door, know you have the power to make someone smile. Your life will be made up of small kind moments. Don't forget, there will always be Karma.

So remember, whatever you do, do it with love.

Pisa

Oh, Enchanting Pisa! 

The people, the aroma and just simply, the essence of it! It may be shorter then you think in person, but the views of that piazza was amazing! Such beautiful, ancient, white marble that make up not only the tower but the cathedral as well. We only spent two nights in this city, at an amazing hostel, clearly family owned named A Casa Doina Tower, only a five minute walk from the piazza! And, get this… from the common balcony you had a clear top half view of the tower! There it was in all its glory! It's bright white marble only magnified by the clear blue skies that day. So grateful I got to see it in my life time! 

The Piazza del Duomo is amazing! Once Ben & I were done marvelling at the tower from the ground we ventured forth to see the Cathedral, Baptistry and Campo Santo - a grave site if you will. So much history that enriches Pisa. It was really cool to learn about the Campo Santo, truly one of the most beautiful grave sites I've ever seen. 

My goodness, the food was amazing. We had this delicious sharing plate of cold cuts for lunch on our last afternoon there. It was amazing. Two types of salami, two types of proscuitto, cheese, capicola, fresh baked bread, and a fresh fruit bowl to share. I'm salivating just thinking of it… 

Wanderer - Summertime Sadness

I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world. 

- Mary Radmacher

To grow up is indeed a blessing. To journey through life with gratitude, a wandering soul, and an appetite for adventure has been truly eye opening. When you see so much of the world in a short amount of time, and you learn to live as a minimalist along the way, you learn to really seize each and every day. When you meet new and old family who take you under their wing, and spoil you with memories, and home cooked meals, you learn to appreciate the true essence of giving back. It has all been such a whirl wind; Honeymooning for four months with the love of my life!!! Learning that we really are each others best travel companions. Knowing that if either of us is grouchy it's all because we are hangry. (Hungry + Angry) We've listened to countless songs, written many pages in our travel journals, thousands of pictures and videos, confided in each other till the early morning, went baby crazy.. Then not so baby crazy, brainstormed ideas for the next ultimate trip of a lifetime, found a new love for wines, and food! I have lived a lifetime in these last four months. And we still have two weeks left until we are at the home base. So crazy! Too much time can be wasted obsessing over the past, what people think, the future. And I ask myself why?? If I die tomorrow, I am so content with my life and how I have lived it. I have grown up emensely on this journey! I know it is just the beginning of many wonderful years to come from this wandering heart! I yearn for the next world wonder my eyes will lay upon, the next beach to lay on, the next dish my lips will taste. 

I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world! 

The love of my life on our special day !

Wedding Video Teaser

Paris

Paris

The city of love. It is a city rich in history, culture, fashion and monumental highlights. One needs a good amount of time and a very large budget to take in all that Paris has to offer. But even a brief visit to this breathtakingly beautiful city leaves you planning your next trip to France's capital!

We arrived in Paris by train around noon on July 29th. We made our way to our beautiful hotel, Le Meridien, which is a short distance from the arc de triomphe. After checking in we decided to venture forth on a long journey by foot to take it all in and see the Eiffel Tower.

Nothing can prepare you for what you are about to see! You've seen it movies, in pictures and paintings, or you have heard of it by word of mouth. This humongous, iconic monument took me by surprise. Being a typical girl, I have pictures of the Eiffel Tower at home. Those back and whites alone made me want to venture to Paris just to see it! If this city is on your bucketlist, the Eiffel Tower is worth the trip alone. We sat on a bench just to the northwest side of the tower, chatted and casually ate our amazing soft serve ice cream. In that moment, I felt like there was no one else there, just Ben, the tower and me. 

It is truly beautiful. Grab some wine, plastic cups, macaroons and have yourself a picnic right on the grounds. That is one memory at will for sure last a lifetime.

Among the other amazing sights were the arc de triomphe, the lovers bridge, the louvre, the Bastille monument, Notre dame and of course, DISNEYLAND!

The arc de triomphe is quite a sight. It is a large arche at the I tersection of L'etoile, and commemorates Napoleons victories. You can climb it for a fee or admire the carving and sculptures from the ground. The louvre is the famous French museum that houses da vinci's Mona Lisa. Take warning that it is completely closed on Tuesdays, as this was the day we had planned to visit it, we settled for admiring the beautiful square, building and glass pyramid that can be seen outside the museum. We continued our long walk and made a stop at lovers bridge, the famous bridge where lovers place a lock to symbolize there love. You the. Throw your key into the river and make a wish, it was very romantic and we witnessed a very romantic proposal right there on the bridge. Helpful hint, if you don't have your own lock and are looking to purchase one, go beyond the bridge as prices are cut in half from those of stores and stands directly adjacent to the bridge.  We then went to climb yet another amazing bundling at Notre Dame Cathedral. The cathedral itself is beautiful and has some amazing stain glass  work. After enjoying the beauty of the cathedral you can make like a hunchback and climb the narrow spiral staircase of the north tower. This provides a closer look at the many amazing gargoyles, the gothic architecture and a panoramic view of Paris that is breathtaking. We continued the very long trail all the way to the giant monument that commemorates France's civil war and rebellion, where the Bastille used to be. 

Paris Disney!! So much fun! If you've travelled to California's Disneyland or Florida's Disneyworld then you must go to Disney in a foreign country! It is an experience all on its own. The underground metro in Paris is easy to navigate through and if you get confused, there is always someone willing to help! We took the underground metro and changed trains to Disney Paris, a commute that took roughly an hour and a half. We were the second train of people to arrive that early morning, and every step we took, our inner 8 year olds started to unfold! Taking pictures all along the way to the entrance we were extremely giddy! We made our way through the gates and the first thing you see is the amazing pink and blue castle! Gigantic! We roamed the Main Street, looking at all the stores - where I purchased my first pair of mini mouse ears- and themed restaurants and made our way to our first coaster, Space mountain.  This got our hearts racing and our lungs ready for the many coasters to come. A major difference you find is that everything is in French, this is particularly funny in the line up to the Star Wars space adventures ride, where all of the robots including C3PO are speaking French to you. Who thought C3PO could be any more annoying?!

The highlights were the Hotel Tower of Terror, the Aerosmith ride (Ben screamed like a girl), Indiana Jones coaster and Crush's Coaster. This is all finished with an amazing show using fireworks, fountains, projectors and graphics all shot on the amazing Disney castle. All in all it truly was a magical day!

All in all, this was an absolute wonderful taste of Paris. It is a beautiful city, as romantic as all of the stereotypes suggest. The people are nice, the food is amazing, the wine is wonderful, and the sights are breathtaking. 

We are already dreaming of the next trip we can make to the city of love! :)

From Miss to Mrs.

June 15, 2013.

The best, most heart warming , amazing day I have experienced thus far in my life!
I cannot describe in words how I was really truly feeling but I will try for writings sake.
Waking up alone in the morning in my bed before my girls woke up, I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, reflecting back on everything that has happened in my life that has led to this moment. Understanding what it means to be in life with someone. I cannot imagine a life without Benjamin. From the moment I met him I knew that.

 I have never felt more consumed with appreciation and love then I did the day I got married and was introduced as Mr and Mrs. Benjamin and Christina Freudenthaler . It is such a blur of faces, smiles, tears and food! You never know where the next genuine smile, dream or thought will come from.  There was so much love poured into our special day. I have reflected so much on that day lately, from getting ready with my beautiful bridesmaids, having a traditional Italian get together with my immediate family before the ceremony, riding with my dad to the Ceremony, hiding anxiously in the bathroom so Benjamin couldn't see me, ... And when those doors opened to the Church, all I could see was him. All those people vanished and all I saw was him.

This, this moment is what I've been waiting for . This was the moment I dreamed about since I was 5.  I cannot put into words exactly the feeling. It was indescribable. Benjamin has been my everything since the moment I met him, it truly was love at first sight, and that itself is so rare, but to get engaged after five months and married nine months later, especially in this day in age is rare too.
What I've come to learn about this whole experience is that it doesn't matter whose watching. If you trust your heart, you will recieve everything you ever wished for and more.

Time

At exactly 1:30pm today, it will be 11 days until I marry the man of my dreams. 

I am The Queen of Cheddar Town ..

Here it is... Another-more public-proclamation of my love for him. This is the outlet I choose, so I will let it out!  

I've been typing and erasing and typing and erasing scrambling, trying to string the words together to describe this feeling in my heart right now. I could simply say, "I miss you like crazy!" But for some reason that just doesn't seem to do it justice. I have never felt so far, yet so close to someone like this. To feel as though my heart is with you right now. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't focus. It is so consuming. The emotions involved in missing someone so much. Laying in bed doesn't seem right without your arms around me, learning something new is not as much fun when I don't have you to share it with.. It is so astonishing to me that I have been blessed, so young to have felt something this beautiful. To fall in love with your integrity, and kindness. To witness your altruistic hands, move and sway so wonderfully towards everyone you meet. That feeling everyone gets when YOU walk into a room because you put everyone at ease. To watch how magnificent you are in times of hardship, because your nobility and compassion is what gets me through. Every. Single. Time. What I've come to learn after all this reflection is that..

This is only the beginning of the rest of Our life together.

and that is a blessing all on its own.

WEDDING

Having a fairly large italian wedding is a beautiful thing. Walking into the venue at MY Bridal Shower, I started crying. It was the most overwhelming, unexpected feeling. All of these people are here for me? They are here to celebrate Benjamin and I becoming one? EVERYONE HERE IS FOR ME TODAY?!?! I am not a person that feels comfortable being the centre of attention.. so at first it was unnerving. Just think about it, sixty-eight women in one room. Hungry, hormonal, some menopausal, and others too young to know what menopause is! So where do I even begin? Once I finally got all the way to my seat, the decor was fantastic! Theme was Alice in Wonderland. So I had the most bad ass Alice in Wonderland cake, each table had a teapot filled with beautiful flowers and the games were a lot of fun too! So much effort and love put into an event for me. You might ask, well Birthdays are sort of the same thing.. WRONG. Your wedding first of all, is once in a lifetime. Also knowing, that each person cares about you to some extent or the other in that room- is staggering.  They are my family. You can't beat it. It is such a great feeling. Everyone before me that has had the whole, "get married" experience has told me, "Take it all in. Remember to breathe, it goes by so fast." They were right. Those 3 hours flew by in an instant. It makes me think of the BIG DAY. I don't want it to go fast. So I am trying to develop a sense of ease, relaxation and appreciation for everything around me . It is working. Focusing on today, instead of the past. Taking one day at a time! - My advice: (especially for those of you planning!) Stop thinking so frantically and sporadically about what is next. Trust me. Focus on the task at hand. It makes a big difference.

That day I felt an extreme amount of love. I will always be grateful for how I felt walking into that room.

"It's no use going back to yesterday, 

because I was a different person then."

`Alice

talent, talent, talent

She has such a beautiful voice! Up and coming I swear it!
She dedicated this to Adair Freeman and Roderick "Dolla" Burton. Who were shot down in a Shell Gas station in late January. Reports say the act of violence was over Adair's fake diamond chain. 
Very well written. Beautiful

Always & Forever

So we planned it all out for the middle of June, 

From the wedding cake to the Honeymoon.

57 days!

I cannot wait for June 15, 2013.

So good.

Remember: Really listen. 

Sometimes, Life just happens.

RIGHT ON.

First blog in what feels like so long.
For the first time in my life, I had writers block. Writers block, really? - You might ask. Well, yes.

My last post, all that was typed was Passion. That is exactly what I have been trying to search for, and develop. Growing up. My goodness, it NEVER STOPS. You are learning everyday, and every single moment if you really listen.  >>>>>>>

Benjamin and I have finally moved into our new place! Seeing his face when he was handed those keys… such a blessing to witness. 

So full of life, is he my love. 

___

Benjamin

I am so grateful for: your love, your touch, your scent, your smile, the way you make me laugh, your 'dad jokes', your optimism, your encouragement, your family, your voice, your favourite movies, your love for dogs, your hope, your spirituality, your laughter, your timing, your sincerity, your taste in music, the fact that you pursued a dream, the fact that you have many more you want to pursue, your enlightenment, the clarity you give me in times of anxiety, your hugs..

the way you love me.

love language.

This past week has been quite the series of unfortunate events. 
Without your love, patience and optimism, I would not have the willpower I have right now. 
Thank-you.

Understanding

I know, no body really gets it. "It's too fast, too soon. How do you know? Are you sure? Have you thought about this this and that?" 

Yes, I have. I appreciate your concerns so much, because it means you love me, you love us. 

However, I really cannot put into words to describe how great this feeling is. It is overwhelming, and consuming. You feel whole. 

It just feels right. Since the moment I met him, it has always felt right. 

It really is this simple. 
"When you know, you know."

Engaged =)

The love of my life proposed to me this Saturday afternoon.
It was all kinds of romantic.
He got our parents blessings and had an elaborate plan.
I was very surprised  !

So extremely happy. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life.