Busy: Occupied, Employed, Involved.

Here goes another rapid, time enthralling week! 

I'm not even going to bother with the list of things to do! (Cause lets get serious, you don't really care).

I HAVE SO MUCH TO GET DONE/STUDY/ATTEND/PRACTICE etc.

I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!

School!!! Ahh, I have seriously so much to get done in only 10 hours. (I have been studying/doing homework for 6 hours already) :

• Assignment 1: Due Monday
• Assignment 2: Due Monday
• Module 1-4 Tests 
• Study for Midterm Friday

Not only do I have bootcamp tomorrow morning, but I also have to go pick-up my fixed phone and work until 1030. Looks like I'll be pulling an all nighter..

• Bootcamp AM
• Friday Midterm AM
• Work Saturday PM
• Baby Shower/Superbowl Sunday 

That means I HAVE to finish Assignment 1 and half of Assignment 2 Friday night. 

Not to mention that I would like to fit in a workout or two over the course of my weekend.. 

Sigh.

reward

I HAVE SO MUCH STUDYING TO DO!
This week I finish my second course (already I know).
I have 10 modules to remember for my final exam Friday.
Bootcamp Tues and Thurs along with work both nights as well.


Good thing I'm going to Lethbridge this weekend to let it all out!
Pirate party here I come!

formulate

I may not be in school, but I'm a nerd, and therefore I create work for myself.
Today:

• I have written pages, upon pages of notes based on the course I will be taking in January. It actually looks so interesting. Petroleum Land Administration, who knew? The quality characteristics, the duties, not to mention the salary! (haha!) I'm just so wonderfully excited for school. 
• I have read yet another chapter of my current read : The Happiness Project. I am in love with it! I'm strange and highlight/write notes on and about the book! I using it as a guidance tool, and as some research for my own project. 
• I made a delicious lunch! After being sick for awhile, I have finally gained my appetite back! I made an avocado and tomato salad, with quinoa and a delicious smokey! (I love big lunches). 
• I am about to do a fabulous workout and then;
• Off to work I go! 

"Our God, is an awesome God..

.. he rains from heaven above,
Our God is an awesome God.
With wisdom, power and love,
Our God is an awesome God."




All of you early 2000s Catholic School goers HAVE to know this song!
(There are actions to it as well).


You Tube it.
Trust me!!  

ma.

So, growing up has its perks. However, those perks come with so much responsibility! Sometimes its hard to fathom how much I have to get done, and even though I finish one task, three more are added to my tedious and tumultuous list(s). I have been stressing over my student loans, visa, school in January, so on and so forth. Thank the heavens for my wonderful parents, who are always offering to help me, no matter what the situation. I seriously do not know what I would do without you. Especially my mom, who is always on the other end of the telephone when I call her crying, stressed out, or in a panic. She's always reassuring me, and convinces me that everything will be fine. Walking me through some steps, or consistently answering any and all of my questions. I'm coming close to being on my own two feet and she is without fail holding my hand, or taking a step back to let me learn on my own. I appreciate the fact that you are continuously here for me. I admit that sometimes I take advantage of that, and I'm sorry. I just simply wanted to say: Thank-you. Thank-you for being my support system, my therapist, my wake-up call and my best friend; wrapped up into one syllable: Mom.

irony

Everything comes to those who wait. I HAD FAITH!

Wondering what all the excitement is about? Oh, just got accepted into my program at SAIT! I am so extremely excited. Minus the fact that tuition is incredibly expensive, but money is nothing! I'm excited. I am ready for the next chapter! Thank you mail man for delivering my future. =)

Harry Potter

I love youuuuu.
However, you're the best/worst excuse to avoid studying haha.

UGH. SCREW YOU FINALS.

heavy soul

So much going on right now.
My heart is heavy, and my mind is everywhere.
University probably will not be an option for me anymore.
So what the fuck am I going to do with my life? Maybe real estate or SAIT. Oh the options i've left myself.
Such a let down.


I'm not happy right now.
I'm not happy at all.

March Madness

I dislike the Month of March for the following reasons :

• 1 Essay
• 4 Midterms
• 2 Plays
• 2 Production Reports
• 1 Primary Source Analysis
• 1 Workshop
• Countless readings 
• Not to mention the -25 to -35 degree weather we're having. 

"I think I can, I think I can!"

Is it Saturday yet?

I cannot wait until the wedding! My spray tan is all set (I'm dark!). My out fit is complete and my hair will look marvellous. I'm just full of self indulgence! haha. I just feel so good when I dress up. Love!
I am also excited for all of the out of town family! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Spiffy pictures of the boy and I ? Prediction: most likely.

I just need to get through:

• 2 History Chapters. 
• A philosophy tutorial 
• A philosophy Midterm 
• A rough draft of an essay
• The purchase of a theatre ticket

Then I get back to the reality of a month of academic hell.

how?!

How did I EVER eliminate caffeine from my diet? As well as, regular exercise? I have copious amounts of energy from both of these plus eating extra healthy. I love this feeling. How i ever stopped any of these things is a complete mystery to me. Not to mention, when i exercise it gives me a sense of accomplishment and determination. With everything going on in my head, i need to let the stress out some how.



OH! And I totally kicked the shit out of my history exam. I have NEVER felt that confident about a test in my life. I would read the question and automatically know. I love history. Maybe thats the route I'm supposed to take with school.. who knows. I just really enjoy it. Its cemented. People are remembered. Empires have fallen and politics have been repeated and adopted and will virtually never change. Consistency..

i like to say i tried,

with some aspects of school. i mean, if i really didn't understand then i would put the effort.
but to say i tried 100%. i'm lying to myself.
i don't know how i have it in my head that everything comes easy.

note to self;
everything, from relationships to learning how to longboard, to school TAKES WORK.
oh my goodness, thats a shock.

seriously, next semester i plan to rape the shit out of all my courses.
effort, you won't know what the hell hit you.

can't wait to be home with everyone i love and miss.

and living alone by myself these last 3 days has taught me a lot. haha.


I LOVE LIFE.
I HATE FINALS.

studying to me..

.. is like giving birth to 12 children. Naturally.

Now that i've expressed the pain.
I JUST WANT TO GET THESE FINALS DONE WITH!
2/5. Only 3 more to go.. =(

parabola

and thats about as much studying as i can take.
if a brain could over flow, it'd be oozing out of my ears right now.

thank you mom for the tim hortons. =)
love yaa.

ending on this note:

Nineteen - Tegan and Sara

i feel you in my heart,

and i don't even know you.

suffocation

maybe, just maybe,
i'm in wayyy over my head.

sometimes i feel like it can all be too much. i'm so hard on myself, because everyone expects so much from me. of course this is done unintentionally. However, i cannot help but feel this weight is unbearable. The weight from school, (which thankfully is done tomorrow), the weight of finding a new job, the pressure of having enough money to live, frankly, mooching off of my parents in any way, shape or form is brutally unappealing to me.
If you're reading this, just know that I'm coming apart at the seems. and the pressure of my day to day life,
makes me take it out on my relationship. this, unfortunately is habit. i find every reason to fight, dig and pester and eventually i do find big flaws; not only in myself, but, within the whole dynamic of the relationship. i do not know if this is good or bad. but we will see how this all turns out.

I just want you to fight for me.