people

the people that always remember the tiniest little things they've done for you; when in actuality you've gone out on a limb for them on more then one occasion and you've done way more for them then they have for you. but they are the type of person to remind you consistently the one thing they did for you this month. or "well i got you this." "remember when you.." etc etc. i've gotten past the point of frustration straight to annoyance. get over yourself already. you don't see us decently good people completely consumed in selfishness and consistently reminding you of everything we've done for you. i guess thats just the difference. i get it, this type of person has some issues.
but you know what, get over it.
i see these people getting everything and anything and being spoiled. etc etc. you will gain my full respect when you actually do something of merit for someone, that doesn't involve the thoughts "oh if i get it, she'll get me one next time." or "he/she should remember what i just did for them." then you never let them live it down.
come to me when you rescue a baby out of a burning building. maybe then you wont be 'this type of person'.
so.fucking.annoying.

fml.

i have the BEST best friend in the entire world.
you are more then amazing.


fuck my life.

Life

"And Everyone has a random."

when it takes over.

i'm so up and down about us lately, its sad. really sad. i'm sure of your love for me. and i love the person you are. but you're not the same person i met october 2009. you're different, your goals are different. the way you view life is very different.  "we're on different pages." this is the truth. whether you would like to face it or not. we aren't cohesive. and this frightens me. because as much as our love fills us up. this aching difference is slowly ripping at the seams like your favourite sweater that starts to fall apart. its disappointing and bittersweet. i just want you to see things from our future prospective. you can't just decide things for yourself. your decisions that you tell me, will effect us in so many ways.. I don't think you get that. i'm so sick of going in circles that its finally worn me down . i'm not so sure any more. as insecure as i am in myself, i was extremely confident in us. but now.. who knows.

to sum up:

i dislike long distance relationships with every fibre of my being.

Seriously;

They say that true love is so hard to find 
Well I'm gonna take my time And I, ain't gonna rush into something 
To get left with nothing again 
That's what I said before 
Until I opened up that door 
Let you in, and left my heart wide open 
And now I'm just hopin'...




you don't want to know what i'm hopin'.