lonesome.

alone |əˈlōn|adjective & adverb1 having no one else present; on one's own : [as predic. adj. ] she was alone that evening | [as adv. ] he lives alone.• without others' help or participation; single-handed : team members are more effective than individuals working alone.• [as adj. ] isolated and lonely : she was terribly alone and exposed.• having no companions in a particular position or course of action : they were not alone in dissenting from the advice.
lonely |ˈlōnlē|adjective ( -lier , -liest )sad because one has no friends or company : lonely old people whose families do not care for them.• without companions; solitary : passing long lonely hours looking onto the street.• (of a place) unfrequented and remote : a lonely stretch of country lane.

I really wish these adjectives didn't exist. How much easier the world would be without these feelings. I had a discussion about loneliness with my bestfriend today. It was sad. She and I both got upset. What do we define as lonely? Not having that companion? Feeling such great love, and then falling out of it? Closure? Regret? Remorse? What is it? Where does is it come from? Why does it happen? Why do we let it happen? Anyways, Sasha and I discussed why we feel we miss our ex-significant others. Is it because we're lonely? Or do we genuinely miss them/wish they were with us. I do not think it is the second part. I am feeling the affects of being alone. Yes its frightening. But for me, its knowing that at one point there was something so great between us; and now its gone. Over. I'm happy - don't misunderstand me. I'm just lonesome. And after a year and a half of having that love fill me up, i think its normal to feel this way. Obviously this feeling comes and goes. Just like happiness comes and goes. These are emotions..moods. I can't control that. You can't control that. Just let it be. Everyone has some sort of independence within them. its up to you, to use it. Let yourself heal. Then build yourself back up again. Love wholly, and freely. Without doubt or reservations. Love more with each breath you take. Love spontaneously. Don't let the faded flame of a past love stop you from potentially loving another being. Open your heart to the world, and the world will open its heart right back. 

What was supposed to be a sad blog entry, greatly turned into a positive one. Thank you meditation.