Dear Lethbridge..

As excited as I was when I first arrived here, the feeling just isn't the same.
Everyone that means the most to me (minus dee) is back home in Calgary.
I was on the greyhound last night, watching The Lovely Bones, trying to focus my thoughts on more horrible things that have happened to people. Like Suzy, she was raped and murdered and cut into pieces and shoved in a safe then dropped in a sink hole. How devastating can that be? Extremely is the obvious answer.
But as much as I read, or write, or workout or study, or work,  the unhappiness consumes every single part of my being. It sucks being here. It sucks not having those close ties, or having someone other than dee to hold me up. It's gotten to the point where, I'm counting down the days until i move back home. (188 in case you were wondering). I just want to be where my real home is. This experience has taught me a lot about myself, and I'll probably learn a hell of a lot more within the next 188 days. It just sucks, and I guess, simply put i'm just complaining cause there really is nothing I can do about it.

I think it's hard for me too because everything that I thought was going to happen, didn't. And everything I was sure about has changed completely. For example: Changing my major and minor and my entire degree.
In other words, I have grown up in various ways, shapes, and forms. But I think i took this leap a little too soon. I'm still young, I still want to see my mom everyday, and piss off my brother, and have my dad teach me to drive. I want all that. The support and the love and the connection with everyone.
I miss my best friend, and i miss the new friendships i've made.
I miss my boyfriend, and I miss my house.
I just want to go back.


188 days, and counting...