forever and a day

monday morning i woke up to an empty house. nothing out of the ordinary. so i decided, "hey why not start packing." this was a good thought at the time because i'm a very large procrastinator. i'm getting better... or so i like to think. anyways, i began packing, putting together boxes, placing things in boxes. the pace started slowing, my estrogen started raving, and soon enough tears started flowing down my face. i had to stop and breathe, before i had a panic attack. i was beginning to pack 19 years of my life. in the one and only house i have ever lived in. the one and only place that will always be home to me. i'm still excited to leave, for this new chapter, the new experiences. but, it never actually "hit me" until that moment. i leave in 24days. to start a new life for myself. surreal.
all the emotions i was feeling, i cannot put into words. but that moment was strong.  that moment was beautiful. this is one big step towards growing up. towards living a life independent from my parents, but being adult enough to ask for help when i need it. and to call, just to hear their voices. this is growing up.