18 days

yesterday, i fought with my bestfriend for the first time in, what felt like forever. because of this, i, of course, began to cry uncontrollably. what if moving sever's all my ties? what if, i never see most of these people ever again. the tears keep flowing, my thoughts keep going. it was horribly phantasmagorical. i wanted nothing more than to talk to her. unfortunately she was at work. so, naturally, i leaned on the boyfriend. whom, wanted me over right away. just being with him helped all the more. we watched a chick flick, even though he dislikes them haha. i know he did it for me. and naturally i started crying again. yes the movie was cute, but i kept thinking about Sasha. and how she's the one person that has always been constant in my life. it was heartbreaking to say the least. we cuddled and fell asleep. when i got home and attempted to doze off again she called. my heart was racing. you can't help but feel that the worst has yet to come... 

"hey, i'm sorry.."

and all was fixed. and everything we were fighting about was fixed. we began to talk about life, boyfriends and me leaving. she's my sister. my soul-mate. and i never want to feel that feeling again. growing up like this is hard. because i leave, and all my friends are on different paths. and we begin to make our own choices and decisions. and we grow apart. and that is happening with Sasha, but her and I will always be in eachothers lives. no matter what the circumstances. we've been through so much just to throw it away. growing up, growing with, growing apart from. it's a lot to take in. and so much is yet to come. i have 18 days left, in the only city i have ever know . its hard to comprehend. makes my heart feel heavy.