lump in my throat.

this is when i start to pull away, and you turn the other cheek. because, yes, saying goodbye will be bittersweet. you tell me you love me, that there will be no one else. but i look at the odds stacked against us. all i want, is for us to try. but that just means we have to wait. and more time with you makes the pain subside. i never want to say goodbye. i hate change. i can feel it now. ive heard too many horror stories and ive been through plenty of my own. maybe i need to have a little more faith in us. but i know everything will fade. especially your love for me. and losing you will mean losing a part of me. i'm not ready for that. i'm not ready. im crying just writing this. i'm more afraid then you'll ever know. and i dont know how to fix it. how to fix myself for thinking the worst. I'm going to leave, and every other girl is going to seem more pleasing, and you'll lose interest. and thats it. simple. its done. and i hate the anticipation of it. come september it will be hell. my heart hurts.


Macy Gray - I Try
i try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

 I  WANT NEED YOU NOW, AND ALWAYS.