suffocation

maybe, just maybe,
i'm in wayyy over my head.

sometimes i feel like it can all be too much. i'm so hard on myself, because everyone expects so much from me. of course this is done unintentionally. However, i cannot help but feel this weight is unbearable. The weight from school, (which thankfully is done tomorrow), the weight of finding a new job, the pressure of having enough money to live, frankly, mooching off of my parents in any way, shape or form is brutally unappealing to me.
If you're reading this, just know that I'm coming apart at the seems. and the pressure of my day to day life,
makes me take it out on my relationship. this, unfortunately is habit. i find every reason to fight, dig and pester and eventually i do find big flaws; not only in myself, but, within the whole dynamic of the relationship. i do not know if this is good or bad. but we will see how this all turns out.

I just want you to fight for me.